Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Happy Holidays from the Desk of Nancy Pelosi!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions ofothers, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006,but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "America" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. Accordingly, this wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual and generally accepted application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first. Warranty is limited to replacement of this wishor issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

NOT VALID IN PUERTO RICO OR GUAM

3 Comments:

Blogger Jenny said...

Jeez Louise you Republicans are super sensitive. This shrill faux-controversy regarding holiday cards is pure political hype. There is no war on Christmas, just as there is no Santa Claus. Christmas can go on being the retail boon it's always been with my blessing. Meanwhile, I'm either going to be giving my friends and family gifts of brownies, receipts for charitable donations in their names, or pictures of my convalescing cat (of the $935.79 vet bill). Go on, tell me the "real" meaning of Christmas.

8:57 AM  
Blogger Parr said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2:40 PM  
Blogger Parr said...

And there you have it folks. It's just not true, because JENNY SAID SO!!!! Kind of like the Book of Job. No irony there.

2:41 PM  

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