Wing Bowl Redux . . . .

thanks for the Wing Bowl photo MikeZornek.com

and it still sucks.

Because I have seen a few blogs linking to my previous Wing Bowl rant, it would only be just for me to rectify my incomplete sermon. I did fail to mention the new contestant policy.

The new contestant policy, only new contestants may apply, is a ridiculous farce trumped by no other since the Dukakis campaign. How ridiculous is it that the legends of Wing Bowl have been cast asunder for a crop of unknowns? The Black Widow, whom I shielded with my very own coat last year as the beer rained down on her entrance, is out. Badlands Booker, out. Their replacements, a pathetic lot of has-been's and never-will-be's who can only qualify through depleted standards. True, Philly hated the BW because she whooped our asses and only weighs 32 pounds, but the villain made the story. This year there is no story-line. No compelling comebacks. No champion defending the crown. No heated rivalries. Nothing. Unless you count the Wingettes, but everyone knows those girls are little more than beer-goggle geishas, good from afar, but far from good.

My only hope is that the fury of Philadelphia hatred bubbles up and a crowd of maddened WB aficionados falls down upon the Wachovia Center with the vile contempt of rabid jackals, ripping the philistines responsible for this mess from their illegitimate thrones and stringing them up from the rafters, where we can all take turns pelting them with the vomit that is sure to ensue from the mealy mouths of their woefully inadequate contestants.